An Americorps Journey

Final Day of Service: A Day of Reflection

2007-07-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

As my year of service draws to a close, I realize AmeriCorps has given me much more than I anticipated. It has truly been a life-altering experience that has made me stronger and maybe a little wiser.

AmeriCorps encouraged me to change my lifestyle. Because of my very limited income, I had to perfect my financial management skills. This led to me riding my bike to work almost everyday. I also learned the importance of separating work and play; everyday will not be perfect. I can relish in the beauty of knowing that regardless of how much I liked or disliked my day, I know that everyday has a purpose, meaning, and has taught me a little more about my abilities. I plan to continue these habits, especially the bike riding, because I now know that I can do it; it's not as hard as I might have anticipated.

Moreover, I've always been an advocate of lifelong service, and I easily forsee myself making a career in public service. AmeriCorps provided me with the tools and experience to see that this was a possibility. I really can make a living changing the world, and I can't imagine any other way I'd like to spend the rest of my life.

As I look to the future, I know every detail in my life's plan hasn't been laid out. However, I do know the direction my path is heading. And that makes me feel just a bit better.

Signing off,

Elizabeth Bento

A Kit Kat Bar

2007-05-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

Whatever happened to people appreciating the work you do for them? I'm trying to stay positive throughout my AmeriCorps term, but sometimes I am shocked by the attitude people have toward others that are trying to help them.

Today I checked in on a tutor and two of her students. One was working diligently while the other was shooting "hoops" at the garbage can. The hoop-shooter said he was all done with his work, and he should be rewarded for all the work he had done. This coming from a guy who was 20 minutes late to tutoring, had given his tutor a hard time, and breezed through his work by randomly answering questions--even though he knew the work.

The situation improved after I pulled him aside, but give me a break! It is hard for me to understand the mentality of biting the hand that feeds you, so to speak.

Pressure and Inspiration

2007-05-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

Many people have been asking what I will be doing after my year of service. I feel the same way I felt right before I graduated from the university: confused, undecided, unorganized, and somewhat inadequate. Everytime, I avert my eyes and reply with a quietly exasperated, "I don't know." And, everytime I am greeted with furrowed brows and sympathetic, "oh's." It's always difficult being in a situation that is waiting on the outcome of decisions beyond my control.

However, as I consider my situation more and more, I keep thinking I want to continue serving in the AmeriCorps but in a different capacity. I think it would be fun, challenging, and a great experience. I would really like to be a VISTA leader; we'll see how the tide turns.

On another note, I had a wonderful and inspiring experience at the Service Symposium. It was great absorbing the essence of AmeriCorps through a creative medium. I really love it when I can get together with other AmeriCorps members and relate to them on a totally different level than others can really understand.

Sick but getting better...

2007-04-27T16:42:00.000-07:00

What a whirlwind of a week! In some ways, I'm surprised I'm still standing. Last weekend, I caught one mighty bug, and it made this last week pretty draining. Add two days of training that mostly consisted of lecturing, loads of problems while I was at the training, and a crabby co-worker, and it makes for a very heavy week.

Perception = Reality?

2007-04-06T16:19:00.000-07:00

Today a colleague broke-down crying. I wasn't sure what I could do to help her; I felt really awful. I never do well settings like that. Work and her personal life are very complicated right now. I tried my best to comfort her and listen. I feel like I reassured her some.

Unfortunately, I also learned about some drama occurring between colleagues at work. I never like knowing the drama--it just complicates work much more than it already is. Even though I'm not in the middle of it, I am aware of it and it influences my opinion of my surroundings.

One's perception can be their reality. Yesterday, I attended a retreat that discussed humor in the workplace. Unfortunately, the discussion--in its entirety--fell flat. While the topic was very helpful, the presentation seemed somewhat juvenile. It also lacked inclusiveness--part of the point of the retreat was to help us all get to know each other, and this retreat was not successful in accomplishing this. However, I did like the advice and still had a wonderful time.

On a positive note, I'm planning this kicking volunteer recognition ceremony. I'm very excited because I think it is going to be really great. It's somewhat tough because I have a small budget, but I'm not too worried--I'm a queen of bargain shopping.

A Second Year?

2007-04-02T18:05:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been seriously considering the possibility of a second year in the AmeriCorps. I love the program and truly feel I am having an impact in my community. I love the AmeriCorps members I have met along the way. I love being in a community of people committed to service.

If I am going to do a second year of AmeriCorps, I should do it when I am the most passionate and when I have few obligations. The small stipend hasn't been too much of a burden; I've managed fairly well.

However, if I took on a second year, I would want it to challenge me in new ways. Therefore, I would probably consider a position at a different site. We'll see how things turn out.

Adventure!

2007-03-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

Another adventure in my life as a tutor...I realized today I have a fair amount in common with some of the ESL students that come to SE Works. Today, I shared stories with a student from Moldova. We talked about how our parents immigrated, and the impact immigration had on their lives and ours. We shared similar struggles, achievements, and gratitude for our lives in the United States. At the end of our session, she said she appreciated being able to relate to someone about this, and I appreciated poking my head a little more outside the box.

In my life as a volunteer coordinator...I've been busy trying to plan an upcoming volunteer recognition ceremony. I really want the ceremony to be something special, an event volunteers, staff, and students view as special and noteworthy. Send me your thoughts on themes, award ideas, etc.

Explosions of Fun

2007-03-12T18:09:00.000-07:00

Tutoring excites me...specifically, tutoring ALGEBRA excites me. I don't know what it is. Algebra is this complicated puzzle of letters, integers, and exponents galore! Everytime I solve or help someone solve a problem I feel a mini firework pop in my stomach. It makes me want to giggle and do a jig. I can hear my brain hissing "Yessss! One down, 30 more to go!"

The students think I'm a little strange, and they can't understand how one can feel such excitement for math. I think they appreciate my enthusiasm though; some have told me I make math as interesting as it can get.

Recently, I was talking about my wanting to take a math class for fun. SIGH...sometimes I am a little strange...and that's o.k. :)

Thick Skin

2007-03-09T16:18:00.000-08:00

After speaking with Jen, my Americorps supervisor, yesterday, I feel the most incredible weight has lifted from my shoulders. She really gave me some great ideas for coping with stress and being fair to myself and my needs.

Working with at-risk populations can be incredibly exhausting. Jen relayed some of her experiences working in a similar situation, and she said she had to develop a really thick skin so that she wasn't continually taking work home with her. Relationships and experiences with these populations can only exist within the confines of the site; carrying them with you when you leave increases your level of stress. Create some blocks!

I really took that advice to heart, and I appreciated how she related the information. I knew all along that this is what I needed to do, but she somehow found the words to make it stick and make a difference.

Ageism

2007-03-07T18:23:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been feeling a little out of place at my site. In some ways, I feel like an outsider. I'm not sure if it's because I'm an Americorps member, younger, or both. After some consideration, I think most of my feelings are my own misperceptions. However, there are instances when I feel I am reminded of my "inexperience," and I don't believe it's fair or justified.

Some staff reinforce the opinion that younger equates a lack in knowledge. While I may have fewer years of experience, that doesn't mean I am unable to perform my duties or make decisions that build my own experience. I feel there's an underlying ageism that is stamped as o.k. if thrown in as a joke.

Since it is so discreet, I'm not sure how to address it--if it is even worth addressing. I feel I've been battling aged stereotypes all my life: "you're just a kid" or "horny/irresponsible teenager" or "drunk college kid".

Now it's "oh, you're in your twenties. When you get older, you'll understand." Come on!

Creating the BLOCK

2007-03-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

Today was an interesting day in my life at SE Works. After biking to work in the pouring rain with little rain gear, I felt not only wet but incredibly under the weather (pun intended). After drying myself by a space heater, I still felt groggy. It really affected me the rest of the day. I think it made me a little more irritated than normal.

I'm trying to be better about creating a block between work and my personal life. I am trying to accomplish this by having an "end of the day" log. I hope this will allow me to reflect and create an artificial barrier between my work life and my personal life.

Slump Phase

2007-02-19T18:39:00.000-08:00

I think I've reached a slump in my Americorps position. Don't get me wrong--it's really great at SE Works. My supervisor, the employees, the volunteers, and the students (overall) are phenomenal; my Americorps crew rocks.

It's gotten to the point, though, where everything at SE Works is familiar. Nothing is new and exciting, but beyond that, it's grown a little tiresome and repetitive. I used to sprint to work, eager to tackle snags, new ideas, and creative innovations. Now, I don't dread my time at SE Works, but there's definitely not as much sprinting involved.

The students' wines are quite as funny as they used to be and leaving work in complete blackness isn't as appealing. Volunteers canceling for a single sneeze or a personal outing is growing old. I'm searching for ways to deal, to overcome these ugh-ish feelings.

I wonder, though, if I'd been putting too much stock into making my Americorps position the center of my universe. Now that it is no longer new and interesting, perhaps I should focus my "newbie" energies elsewhere and feed my creative beast. My Americorps position is less than 30% of my week. I still have over 70% of my time to myself (now that's a invigorating thought!).

I'm confident these feelings will pass; I love my position too much to ever want to leave in the middle of my service. However, I hope they pass quickly. I want to enjoy my time, not feel like I'm sludging along.

Fortune

2007-02-09T16:47:00.001-08:00

In the last few weeks, SE Works has been screening its students for learning difficulties. It’s been an interesting process. The screenings and data-input can be a bit tedious and tiresome. However, the successes of the students definitely outweigh my dragging ass.

With some students, it’s as if an entirely new world has opened for them. One student, using an overlay for reading, said she actually wants to read now because it no longer strains her eyes. Another student was ecstatic to have a calendar for his wall that he could use to remember appointments and stay on task. It’s amazing what little changes can do for a student’s education.

At last week’s regional meeting, I really began to realize how fortunate I am to be at SE Works. Some of the other members regaled stories from their sites, and I was pretty surprised. It sounds like some sites were not prepared to have an Americorps member; resources, supervision, and workloads seem to be lacking. Other members shared stories about micro-managing, idea-happy, or hard-to-find supervisors. A few members said they had no one at their site that they could laugh with; I can’t even imagine! How fortunate I am to be where I am! I couldn’t ask for a better placement.

Cruel to be Kind

2007-02-05T18:31:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday, I had my first bad day at SE Works. It was not pleasant; I had to ask a salty student to leave the tutoring lab.

It is hard for me to understand why people think it is o.k. to disrespect another person. I try my best to treat other people like I want to be treated. I've learned, though, that no matter what I do, I may never be able to overcome the sucky past of another person. It may never matter how nice I am--some people have waded through too much crap in their lifetime that they'll always think another turd bucket is headed their way.

What can you do?

Breathe in, breathe out, and know the sun will rise again tomorrow. Maybe that'll be the day the salty people will stop being salty, and the crap can be outweighed with kindness.

Dinner + 3 people = ?

2007-01-29T17:32:00.000-08:00

I asked my students last week to write essays on the following prompt: if you could have dinner with three people (dead or alive), who would they be and why? After proposing the questions to my students, many asked what my answer would be. In fairness to them, I've decided to complete the assignment as well.

My first choice would be William Shakespeare. I can't help but drink in his writing. It's amazing to me that his work has survived through time; he's one of the most known--if not THE most--known writer of all time. Was he a racist, sexist, religious? I'd want to know which writer inspired him and how he developed his ideas. Was he real? Some have argued Christopher Marlowe faked his death and reemerged as Shakespeare. Others say "Shakespeare" was a pseudonym used by a group of writers at that time. If these theories were true, I'd want to know the reasons for the deception.

My second choice would be Jesus Christ. Jesus has been one of the most influential figures in history. Belief systems to this day are vested in him and his life on Earth. Wars have been fought in his name, and people still debate whether he ever existed. His influence exceeds Christianity; while not all religions see Jesus as the Messiah, some of these religions consider him a prophet and an important reflection of goodness. What was life like on Earth? What does he think about religious wars? How does he feel about conflicts between religions? (I can't go into much detail about this section because I am limited by what I can say as an Americorps member).

My last choice would be to meet myself. Sounds conceited, right? Regardless, it would be so interesting to see myself outside of myself. What kind of mannerisms do I have? Do I say "like" a lot (yes!)? How am I perceived by other people? What will I be like in 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? Is my voice as nasaly as I think it is? Do I fidget a lot? Is my butt as big as I think it is? Do I smell bad? It would be so awesome to see myself in a different light. The possibilities for learning are endless!

If a Genie popped out of my water bottle tomorrow and asked me to choose three people on the spot, it would still be incredibly hard to choose. Tomorrow, I may not choose any or all of the people mentioned above. However, at this point, I'm pretty content with my selections.

Manners

2007-01-19T12:23:00.000-08:00

I would like to train some of my colleagues in common courtesy and decency. While the fraction of people that need this training is relatively small, I still think it could be necessary.

Lesson One would cover "please" and "thank you." Seems pretty easy, right? When you need something, you say it with a "please." When someone does something for you, you say "thank you." (In later chapters, we will further develop this skill by introducing the concept of "you're welcome.") This skill is essential to master when working with volunteers. Often, this acts as one of their few payments for their time and efforts. Additional points will be given to people that do not belittle volunteers and that treat them like equals.

Lesson Two will cover interactions with colleagues. Surprise! You're colleagues are not from another planet and speak the same language as you do! You are not expected to be best friends, but pleasant interaction is encouraged (you may find that you like them more than you thought after all!). Please don't pretend you don't notice your colleagues when passing in the hall. This is awkward for everyone involved. Instead, a cheerful greeting or a smile is much more pleasant, not to mention very easy! These pleasantries can increase office morale tenfold. An added bonus: the next time you need assistance from a co-worker, they'll be more apt to help you. Please review Lesson One for tips on showing your appreciation to those that help you.

O.K...so it's not that bad at my site. Ninety-nine percent of my co-workers are awesome; they're much of the reason I love my position. There's only one or two people that need this lesson. But trust me, they REALLY need it.

Remember...TAUGHT not TEACHED

2007-01-08T20:44:00.000-08:00

Lately, I feel I've been getting a lot of pressure (or a brick-load of hints!) to choose teaching as my profession. For much of my life, I've been praised for my abilities to teach varying materials to varying people. However, I've never wanted to be a teacher...at least not the 8to3-MondaythroughFriday-lecturing30students type of teacher.

I know I teach well; I've always been able to adapt my teaching style to my learner. LEARNER. Singular, not plural.

I have an aversion to speaking in front of small groups (10-30). I love one-on-one or very small group interactions. I even like speaking to large crowds (although I will admit to nerves right before giving a speech). But there is something about small groups (i.e. class sizes) that makes me queasy. Maybe those numbers take me back to memories of junior high when I was incredibly shy and dreaded delivering my awkward presentations.

Moreover, I don't see myself being successful in that type of teaching situation. I believe most of what makes me a great teacher/tutor is my ability to adapt to each learner I encounter. However, in a classroom setting, I would be unable to deliver the same performance; I would be unable to provide each student with the individual assistance needed.

I really admire the work teachers do. It takes a special person to be able to teach hundreds at once or thousands in a lifetime. I just don't think I'm that kind of person.

Quick Ponderings

2006-12-30T09:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder if my work is up to par. I feel like I'm making a great difference, and I have been incredibly productive. However, I don't know if the number of volunteers I've recruited is sufficient. I don't know if I am re-inventing the wheel with many of my recruitment and retention ideas. When I began at SE Works, there was no documentation of successes or failures. There was no history, not even sufficient databases. In a sense, I'm building from scratch, but maybe I'm not.

In the end, the best I can do is to be my best and ensure I leave a history for the person who replaces me.

Power Path

2006-12-22T13:52:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was trained in a program called Power Path. Power Path is a great educational tool that can help students succeed in school. Power Path screens for attention, visual, and auditory difficulties and offers referrals to professional resources in necessary cases. It allows the student to take charge of their learning by deciding which accommodations and resources will most benefit their learning. Power Path can help students learn how to learn.

I think Power Path is a great tool. I wish we could develop a similar tool that can be used on students earlier. One of Power Path's clinches is that the general program is mostly for ABE students, i.e. students that have already gone through the public education system and were not successful. Wouldn't it be fantastic to be able to develop a screening program that catches learning difficulties early on?

Change

2006-12-15T16:34:00.000-08:00

I love helping the students at SE Works. I have started developing sincere bonds with these students; I admire and respect each student for similar, yet very different reasons.

I had a fabulous day. One student learned about kamikazes and wrote a great essay about his grandfather in World War II. He learned how to listen for natural pauses and use punctuation to fill those pauses (I also taught him how to use a semi-colon, my favorite piece of punctuation!). Another student passed a practice reading exam, this after performing poorly on his entrance exam three months ago. He initially tried to act nonchalantly. After a shower of praise, he allowed himself to realize his accomplishment and to beam and smile. He said, “I want to take that math test; I KNOW I’ve improved in math so much.”

I love seeing these students succeeding. Selfishly, these mini-accomplishments make me feel so great. These students are improving themselves—THEY are the ones making change; I’m just a directional sign on the journey, and I love being along for the ride.

Sometimes it takes the horrible, nasty, salty events in our lives to empower positive change. Some of these students have been dragged through nasty sewers but they’re still kicking. I’m so proud of them.

No Shows

2006-11-29T18:16:00.000-08:00

Lately, many students have not been showing up for their scheduled appointments. I don’t know if it’s the unusually cold weather, the approaching holiday season, or maybe both…but it is frustrating. My volunteers keep showing, but there has been nothing for them to do. Do you know how much it sucks to tell a volunteer that we have nothing for them to do? That is one of the QUICKEST way to lose volunteers. I’ve been trying to coach the staff to offer other activities for the volunteers, but sometimes their hands are tied because of confidentiality issues. Any suggestions?

Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack...

2006-11-18T09:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had a regional meeting for Americorps. It went really well; we concretely discussed conflict management, which was extremely helpful for me. I'm the ultimate peacemaker and consciously have to remind myself to address issues rather than ignore them. However, I do choose my battles wisely, which leads me to an issue that arose at yesterday's meeting:

We broke into little groups to discuss "roses" and "thorns" about our Americorps service. A guy in my group was telling us how the curriculum at his site was a major thorn. The school separates the classes by sex but does not separate by grade or skill level. This results in 40 different learning abilities and levels in one classroom. I agreed that this was not the best situation; however, it was what he said next that made me cringe.

He said that the most bothersome aspect of the situation was that the boys were very negatively affected. He didn't think it was fair that the girls were doing so well and the boys were disadvantaged.

I agree that a system should not benefit one race, sex, belief system, etc. more than any other. However, what bothered me, was that he has made comments similar to these before. It made me realize that some people will never change, and he's probably one of them.

At an earlier Americorps retreat, he argued with a woman regarding the fairness of rights in today's system. He said that he agrees with equality for all. However, he expressed some resentment toward current and past equality movements, and he felt white men are now disadvantaged because of attempts to improve the status of women and minorities. The woman and I expressed our disdain for this opinion.

Why does the improvement of one group have to be synonomous with the decline of another group? Why shouldn't everyone be given the same tools to create their path and let the best person win? In the modern United States, the majority of upper-level management and governmental positions are held by older, white men. If we were to live in an ideal world of equality, the institutions of our society (employment, government, etc.) would represent the population. This shouldn't be seen as the "war on white men" but seen as an accurate reflection of what it means to be preach and live our ideal equality.

Of course, these opinions escalated the argument. As women, this issue was personal for the other woman and me. As a white male, this issue was personal for him. Eventually, my logical side took over my emotional side and I managed to deescalate the conflict but the argument had ruined the morale of the group.

Yesterday, I was in a similar situation. However, from previous experience, I realized this comment was not worth affecting the goals and morale of the group. It wasn't the right time for battle, and I knew my words would fall on deaf ears.

I think to be effective and persuasive, it is important to not attack a person everytime they disagree with you. Sometimes, you have to be the duck: let the disagreements roll off your back, keep afloat, and fly south when the time is right. :)

Double your Delightment!

2006-10-30T18:46:00.000-08:00

If there were two of me, life would be so much easier. Imagine a world with two Liz's who laugh at the same jokes, eat spicy food, and dance the "Roger Rabbit". Heck Yes!

But all joking aside...

After working at SE Works for almost two months, I am almost convinced my position should be split into two next year. However, this conviction is based on the idea that the people holding each position would have work ethics similar to my own.

As the position is now—one part tutoring and the other coordinating volunteers—I can do a half-assed job (according to me) and get along o.k. But I really want both aspects of my position to be successful; there should be two people doing my job. Instead, I am doing both functions in about 40-60 hours per week.

In my perfect world, there would be an Americorps Instructional Aide and an Americorps Volunteer Coordinator at my site. Both positions could be expanded significantly in order to better serve the organization.

The Instructional Aide could spend more time planning lessons, offer more one-on-one tutoring sessions, be in the classroom, and offer more tutoring labs. Right now, I tutor one-on-one 15 hours per week, offer two hour tutoring labs two days a week, and scramble to create individual lesson plans for the 15 students in the labs. (20-25 hours per week)

The Volunteer Coordinator could be much more active recruiting and retaining volunteers by meeting with possible volunteer groups, offering in-depth tutor trainings, creating recruitment presentations, and building relationships with local businesses/colleges/universities. Right now, I rely on web resources and word of mouth to recruit volunteers. I focus much of my time supporting my current volunteers; in my view, retention is much more difficult than recruitment. Often, I am on the phone, emailing, or conversing with my current/potential volunteers. Lately, I have been meeting one-on-one with potential volunteers to discuss the organization, its mission, and how they can contribute. In addition to the 20+ community volunteers, I coordinate 13 PSU Capstone students helping with ESL tutoring. An additional one to five hours a week is spent on paperwork and tracking tutoring / volunteer hours. (25-35 hours per week)

Next year, Americorps and SE Works should consider splitting the position. It would take the right people to make it work but I definitely think it may be worth it.

Rock Box Lunch

2006-10-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

Today in a burst of boredom, I learned what my name means.

Elizabeth (Hebrew): Consecrated to God
Rocha (Portuguese): Rock
Bento (Japanese): Box Lunch

Pretty cool, huh? I think it rocks that my middle name is rock (pun intended...haha).

Math Guru

2006-10-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

I walk into the classroom today to begin my first tutoring session with Cory.

“Hi Cory,” I say. “How’s it going?”

“Good. How about you?”

“I’m stellar.” After a few getting-to-know-ya questions, I ask what he would like to study.

“Math, I guess. Apparently it was my worst practice-test score but I am the BEST at Math. When I was in kindergarten, my older brother used to give me his homework because he didn’t want to do it. He got straight A’s because of me. He even paid me a couple of dollars!”

“Wow! You are rockin’,” I say, raising an impressed eyebrow. “Let’s see how I can help you.”

Cory breezes through ratios and fractions, the class material from the past week. “You are way past this stuff,” I say, looking at the quick-printed answers on his worksheet.

“I was in, like, Algebra II at my last alternative school,” Cory says with a nonchalant nod. “I just look at the problem and know the answer. I can’t explain it, I just know.”

“How are you with percents?” I figure percentages may be too easy for him as well. However, many students seem to struggle with percentages and I figure it won’t hurt to ask.

My question is received with a “give me a break” eyebrow. “Well, let’s give it a shot,” I say. “What is 30% of 240?”

After staring at the problem, finger-tapping on the desk, and some whispered calculations, Cory matter-of-factly says, “Forty.”

“I can’t do that in my head; I’ll do it on paper.” After some scribbles, I come up with 72. “It looks like it’s 72,” I say.

“Hmmm…oh right, right, right. I did the math wrong in my head,” Cory says.

“Let’s try another. What’s 5% of 75?”

After another round of counting fingers and muttered calculations, Cory states, “Twelve.”

After scribbling on some scratch paper, I come up with 3 ¾. I double check my answer with the key in the back of the book and show Cory my results. With a furrowed brow, Cory begins muttering and finger-tapping and says, “Oh right. I came up with that the first time…I KNEW it was right.”

If my brain had eyebrows, they’d be raised; however, I don’t let my face reflect the questioning in my head. “I usually tell students to solve problems in ways that work for them, as long as their method works consistently. So why don’t I show you some steps that you can use to double check the answers you come up with in your head? That way you can be sure your answer is right all the time.”

“Nah…why don’t we work on something else? This was just a fluke…percents are waaaay too easy for me. When I was in high school, I used to help everyone in my math class. Even the teacher asked me to help him!”

I walk over to the bookcase and begin looking through the line of books. “You said you took Algebra II, right?” At this point, I’m not sure what to think about the tutoring session. Cory seems to WANT to be there; he’s interested in learning and likes math. However, he seems to have a “math ego,” something I’ve never really encountered before with the students at SE Works. Many of the students do not realize the extent of their knowledge; Cory thinks he’s a math guru.

I pull the Algebra book off the shelf and slide the glossy pages to the section on slopes, intercepts, and graphing. “Will you show me how you would find the slope in number one?” I think if I can have him show me his method, maybe I can find a way to incorporate that into our tutoring session. It seems Cory needs to be recognized for his knowledge; maybe having him teach me will satisfy his hunger for recognition.

Cory looks at the problem, makes a few marks, and tells me the answer is 25. His method is as foreign to me as chewing on a file cabinet. And, the right answer is ½.

I have my work cut out for me. :)

Luxury Stamp

2006-10-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

It's sometimes hard to keep up with my non-Americorps friends (constantly eating out, bar hopping, and clubbing). It's also difficult for them to really understand my situation: "No, I don't want you to buy my supper or drinks...Can't we have fun without dropping a wad?"

Now that I am settling into my new position, I am thinking about getting a second income. It's not so much about the social life as it is about cushioning my savings. You never know what life will throw at you. Ideally, I would like to find something that will enhance/improve my skills, such as writing. However, I'll take what I can get.

Some of my Americorps friends were shocked to learn I had not applied for food stamps but was considering a second job. I understand my financial situation qualifies me for government assistance. However, I feel it's wrong of me to use it.

I knew what the Americorps would be like before I applied and I still decided to do it. I have two bachelor's degrees and could get a job that pays three times as much as I earn now. Knowing this--and not knowing about qualifying for food stamps--I still signed up. I feel I can't take food stamps because there are people in this country that need government assistance and do not have these privileges. I can always get a second job (thank goodness OSSC allows us to do that) but many people can't even get one. I could have continued earning "big $$$" but I wanted my work to be meaningful. So I sacrificed a paycheck for an awesome position with a stipend. Most people eligible for food stamps don't have that luxury; I can't put myself at the front of the government assistance line when I don't feel like I'm the most deserving.

In addition to my personal feelings, I also have a political question. Instead of making one government program dependent on another, why doesn't the government add another $150 per month (about the amount an Americorps member qualifies for food stamps) to the Americorps stipend? Ideally, this would give Americorps members the extra food income and leave the food stamps for less privileged citizens. Of course, this is one of those questions that follows bureaucratic and political reasoning rather than ideological.

In the future, I'll try not to talk too much about finances because it's boring and it's not the focus of my experience. However, it may drift in from time to time--I'm committed to making this blog as honest as I can!

$$$$

2006-10-02T18:38:00.000-07:00

I was reading some blogs from Americorps members across the country today; many were discussing whether Americorps members should be paid more. I knew that topic would have to grace the lovely pages of my blog at some point...so here goes.

There's a "catch-22" with the Americorps living allowance. By having a low allowance, Americorps tends to recruit people dedicated to service and willing to make the financial sacrifice. However, the low income can be emotionally, mentally, and physically draining; living in an expensive city without savings or aid from family/friends can make a year of service even more daunting.

Some feel the low income is on the border of punishing individuals for wanting to provide a wonderful service. On the other hand, by increasing the stipend significantly, you may recruit people interested in only the income and not necessarily the spirit of the Americorps.

Being an Americorps member is an incredible privilege--how many recent-grads get to perform the fuctions of a job they absolutely love? How many people get to do this while directly serving their community and country? Americorps can jumpstart an individual to the rest of their lives. Moreover, this program serves thousands of people and communities each year. Wouldn't you want the right people serving you?

I applied to be an Americorps member knowing full well the conditions. I saved up money, budgeted, and figured out how I would spend the next year of my life because this was important to me. While I would love to have extra money, it's not impossible to live on the stipend.

However, some people do not have the luxary to save money. While I do not believe raising the living allowance is the best (or most likely) answer, why not provide other accomodations to Americorps members? For example, OSSC allows its members to find additional income such as a part-time job; not all Americorps programs allow this. Some sites provide additional incentives--mileage reimbursement, meal passes, payment for trainings, etc. While seeming miniscule, these contributions can be immense and make a year of living at the poverty level a little easier.

Which leads me to the topic of food stamps...but that's for another post, another time.

More than words...

2006-09-27T13:26:00.000-07:00

Isn’t it strange when you think you know a person and your perception of that person completely changes in a matter of minutes? There is little that person can say after-the-fact to remedy your new view of them. At that point, words bounce off your shoulders like hail in a storm; a series of empty words are never convincing. Actions speak louder than words, right?

On a different note...today I was charged with the task of explaining the meaning of "such" to a spanish-speaking ESL student. How do you explain a word with a number of different meanings that does not translate perfectly into spanish? You can use "such as" and compare that to "for example" (which translates into spanish). But it was one heck of a time trying to explain "I had such a good time." I had SUCH a good time doing it too!

Set of Wheels

2006-09-26T14:38:00.000-07:00

Imagine Edith, an 87-year-old woman pushing a cart full of sacks to carry her life and support her slight frame. Imagine Edith also has a temper.

Edith insisted she was meeting Liz at 2 p.m. today (yours truly is the only Liz at SE Works). When I walked to the lobby to meet her, she was not pleased to see me.

“You’re not Liz!” she exclaimed as I approached her. I pulled her aside, determined to diffuse a possible unpleasant situation. I explained who I was and asked her the reason for her visit, attempting to redirect her to the proper office.

“I am speaking with LIZ about SOMETHING….Liz’s husband just had back surgery…we were going to meet last week but she was gone.” I had no idea I had a husband; was it possible I was living another life and didn’t know it? I asked Edith to wait one moment while I spoke with Mike, the front desk attendant.

“Has anyone’s husband had surgery recently?” I was prepared to comb through the 80 employees at SE Works myself as Mike was one week my senior.

“Hmmm…I think LISA’s husband did…”

R & R

2006-09-25T17:51:00.000-07:00

I've been recruiting a bunch of volunteers lately. One by one they keep coming. Unfortunately, there were not many volunteers already tutoring when I started at SE Works so I have been working on recruitment in addition to retainment strategies. My goal is to have about 20 regular volunteers helping with GED and ESL; ideally, I would like to retain at least 50% of those volunteers. We'll see what I can do.

"No Drama...no more in my life..."

2006-09-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

Everything is going so well with my Americorps position; I really don't have anything to complain about. It's pretty nice to not have any "drama" so to speak; in a way, though, it gives me writer's block. Grrr...my writing rocks when life reeks and my writing stinks when I feel fabulous. Life's challenges are wonderful, exciting learning tools. Without a challenge, life seems boring.

Maybe I'll learn Yiddish.

Finding Strength

2006-09-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

Today, one student said he hoped I would be at SE Works permanently. I felt awful because I could not guarantee anything; the best I could offer was one year. I wonder if students like him are looking for someone to stay, someone they can trust, someone that will not abandon them. I wonder how many times they've seen the backs of loved ones and how many times they pretended not to care.

It is a struggle to work in this environment. You want to help people with every fiber of your being and be their sustenance and restoration. But you can't--this is the hardest realization for me--you can't help everyone the complete way they need to be helped. This is depressing; I've always wanted to "change the world for the better." But it's also a huge relief; my back aches much less without the entire weight of the world on my spine. Now I can tackle the battles I can manage and leave the others for people with the proper strength.

Week 1: Loooooved it!

2006-09-16T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked the end of my first week at my site. For the most part, it has been incredible! I love working with the students; I love working with the volunteers; I love working with the staff. Could anyone ask for more?

I think the highlight of my week was working with a student named "R". He loves fixing up destruction-derby type cars, crashing them, and then fixing them again. I thought that was wicked cool! "R" is incredibly bright, quiet, and struggles with remembering the methods for completing math problems. He gets so discouraged and embarrassed sometimes. Unfortunately, this struggle relates to a severe drug addiction he had had for several years. However, he has been clean for over a year and is determined to get back his life. Yesterday, we worked on percentages during his tutoring session. I offered him some tricks for remembering how to deal with percents, parts, and wholes. They really seemed to help; his confidence seemed to improve as we worked together. I hope he can remember those tricks when he takes the GED.

The low of my week was Tuesday—ask my mom or Justin! This week, my supervisor was out of town so I was supposed to be trained by the Americorps member who used to be in my position. Overall, it has been great. At the beginning of the week, however, she seemed to be very possessive of the position. She appeared unwilling to teach me what she knew; she was reluctant to turn over responsibilities and quick to criticize. Tuesday, it was the worst! I felt like I kept doing everything wrong and had not been given the proper tools to perform correctly. I know it was hard for her to give me the reins; she really liked working there. I don't believe she was intentionally trying to sabotage me. Instead, I think she wasn't ready to give up the responsibilities; she was really proud of the work she had done there and felt like the position was hers.

Overall, I am extremely pleased with what I have accomplished in my first week. I already feel like I am connecting with the students. I also have begun building a great rapport with the current volunteer base and--of course--the employees. I am so happy in this position! It fits me like a glove. I know there will be challenges ahead but I am eager to confront and solve them.

The Journey Begins

2006-09-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I will begin serving as a Volunteer Coordinator/Instructional Aide for an educational/employment services organization. Questions keep running through my head. How can I be successful? How can I help others be successful? What if I fail? Am I in over my head?

Despite the daunting force of the "unknown," I'm eager to immerse myself in a warm bowl of service. One of my best skills is educating others and I want to put it to work. I believe education is an extraordinary ingredient for unlocking new doors, windows, and gates; it releases limitation and embraces possibility. The idea of supporting people as they explore their potential definitely overpowers my doubts.